Five Things You Should Know If Your Partner Has A Sex Addiction
Sex addiction in Boulder is a complex problem. However, it’s one that causes major issues in any relationship. If your partner received a sex addiction diagnosis, you must understand how you can help in his or her recovery. Here are five useful things you should be aware of if you’re in a relationship with a sex addict.
It Isn’t Your Fault
Many people with a sex addict partner believe it was something they did that triggered that compulsive behavior. This isn’t the case. In fact, in most cases, your partner probably showed signs of his or her behavior before embarking on your relationship. You needn’t feel that your sexual ability, shape, age or weight caused your partner’s problem. While there are probably marital problems you should address, you bear no blame for his or her addiction. Your partner can only begin the process of recovery when he or she takes responsibility for his or her behavior. If you take that blame on yourself, you are only delaying his or her recovery.
You Cannot Fix His or Her Problem
No matter what you do, you can’t change your partner. It’s only possible to change yourself. Addicts don’t respond to accountability tactics. They always find some way to get around GPS locators or blocked devices. You can’t control their behavior by complaining and spying. In fact, this will only serve to make you more anxious and less self-confident. Until your partner really wants to get help, you can do absolutely nothing except care for yourself. On the other hand, you shouldn’t just ignore the problem. You should work on your own issues so you can empower yourself.
Your Feelings Do Matter
Fear, uncertainty, confusion, sadness, and anger are all common feelings for those whose partners have a sex addiction. It’s natural to feel these things and you should give yourself time to experience those emotions. Feeling is the first step to healing. You should also look for supportive people who you can rely on to help you work through your feelings. A counselor with experience in working with sex addicts and their partners can help you navigate the journey of recovery.
You Can Forgive but Not Forget
Perhaps the biggest obstacle to repairing a marriage broken by sex addiction is your ability and willingness to forgive. If you are bitter, restoration is impossible. Making your partner “pay” for his or her misdemeanors is unhelpful and will make the addict more secretive. For your relationship to be healthy, you need boundaries and restoration strategies. Forgiving your partner doesn’t mean you need to forget your pain. Instead, it means you won’t punish him or her as revenge for the betrayal.
You Have Power
It’s up to you whether you stay or go. You can set boundaries, get the support you need, and forgive your partner. Or, you can decide not to bother with the relationship anymore. The choice is entirely yours. Knowing this empowers you. Although you feel betrayed, you don’t need to be a victim. You can take greater control over your life and make choices that will help you to be whole and happy.
Getting Help with Sex Addiction in Boulder
If your partner has a sex addiction in Boulder, getting help for yourself is important. With the help of Flatirons Counseling, you can learn to help yourself. With our professional support, you can empower yourself to make the right decisions for you. Whatever you decide, we are here to help you navigate through your recovery.